Call of the Wilderness

In this short excerpt from a journal entry by the late priest Henri Nouwen, the author describes the need to make a significant change to his life during a very difficult period in his ministry. Nouwen senses the need to have a wilderness experience, free from the daily routines and busyness of modern life: You are living through an unusual time. You see that you are called to go toward solitude, prayer, hiddenness, and great simplicity. You see that, for the time being, you have to be limited in your movements, sparing with phone calls, and careful in letter writing….The thought that you may have to live away from friends, busy work, newspapers, and exciting books no longer scares you….It is clear that something in you is dying and something is being born. You must remain attentive, calm, and obedient to your best intuitions. (Taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom, HarperOne, 1999)

I will never forget when the Spirit revealed to me that to seek God through prayer and fasting was to meet God in the wilderness. It was profound because up to this point in my life I had done everything to avoid spiritual wildernesses and valleys. What shocked me was how often I had sought to be with God through prayer and fasting. I realized through the revelation that I had really chosen the wilderness, or valley life. What kept me from realizing what I was signing up for was the desire to be with the One Who had called my name, and loved me to life. The Lord spoke to me through that revelation saying that He desired for me to get to the place in which I was so close to Him that I wasn’t conscious of the mountains or the valleys. All that mattered was being with Him.

Isn’ it funny how we put limitations and boundaries on a God who is every where? We all do it. We all have our limitations and stipulations of what we will and will not do for God. We limit ourselves based on our personality. Self-centeredly we will remark that we are extroverts, or introverts by nature, focus on our limitations, all the while excluding God from the entire conversation. I’ve even seen believers set limitations on obedience based on their supposed spiritual gifting. Often they will remark that they don’t possess the gift of evangelism, and cannot witness. Or they will proudly state that they are prophets, and can’t be expected to love God’s sheep like a pastor. It’s not my gift. We even erect walls to limit ourselves in our rituals. I’m referring to the rituals of quiet time, prayer, church attendance, worship, fellowship with the saints, ministry, missions, His Word and witnessing.

The writer of Hebrews addresses this issue in Hebrews 13:9-10 Do not be carried about by different and varied and alien teachings; for it is good for the heart to be established and ennobled and strengthened by means of grace (God’s favor and spiritual blessing) and not [to be devoted to] foods [rules of diet and ritualistic meals], which bring no [spiritual] benefit or profit to those who observe them. We have an altar from which those who serve and worship in the tabernacle have no right to eat.

You could surmise that rituals place limits on God’s Grace. Whereas Grace is good for the heart, establishing, ennobling and strengthening it. Grace puts no limitations, boundaries or walls around the approaches to God. Grace simplifies and frees those approaches to go far beyond the limitations of our physical strength, mental prowess, or emotional stability. Grace, in fact, is the foundation to the altar that self-centered, ritualistic, legalistic “priests” have no right to partake of. Grace, the empowerment to do what only God can do. Grace, that calls us beyond all expectations, limitations, boundaries, and self-centered soulishness, leads us to what is humanly impossible. Rituals involve a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order. Whereas to eat at the altar of Grace will involve going beyond the limitations, prescriptions, understandings, and boundaries. To find Jesus outside the camp will require getting outside of your rituals. It will require taking your “altar” outside – into an everyday work environment. Out into the marketplace, and everyday life. If you were going to approach the Grace available at the Altar of Worship, Praise, or Thanksgiving – you would go beyond the limits of your ritual. You would become extravagant, and rigorous at the same time. In fact the question could be asked, What limitations keep you from catching fire in your worship? What limitations keep you from getting into God’s Holy Fire? Jesus walked straight into God’s Holy Fire – for the joy set before Him, enduring the cross, scorning its shame – so that he could secure our salvation and sit down beside His Father in Heaven’s Kingdom.