What do you do when you try to hear from God and hear nothing but your own thoughts bouncing around in your head?  How is it that we believe more in the power of the devil to deceive us than in the power of God to lead us? Why is it that we believe the devil or his assistants have spoken to us through temptations but don’t believe that we can hear God? How can we believe that unless God the Father drew us to know Jesus we would never have come to salvation in Jesus (John 6:44) yet not make the connection that the “drawing” utilized were words whispered in the form of thoughts from His heart?

Growing up in a Christian tradition that denied the unique ability a believer was endowed with to “hear” and recognize God’s Voice made it difficult to reach many of the conclusions I teach presently. Yet by God’s Grace He ordered my thoughts and steps revealing the testimony of Scripture. As I’ve gotten older I can’t help but thank Him for this gift. But through this journey of seeking to know God personally, “hear” and recognize the ways that He speaks I have had to face difficult challenges, set backs and my own personal doubts and demons. For example this Sunday I was seeking to connect with God through worship and prayer finding it difficult at best. I was tempted to be angry and annoyed, knowing that God knew, that of all the days I needed His Presence it was on this day. Yet God remained distant. That evening as I lay in bed I began praying about what the Lord would have me teach the following Sunday. While pondering, and “reaching” out to connect again, the Spirit reminded me of something I had been involved with. The event seemed harmless enough, even justifiable. But as Paul says, “All things are permissible for me, but not all things are beneficial.” (1 Cor. 6:12) Through this revelation from the Holy Spirit I realized that in my conversation with another that I had made the individuals offense my own. Once I began the journey down this road it led to anger, and judgment of the guilty party. My anger transformed into a righteous indignation, which resulted in my shooting off my mouth to anyone who would listen, about the perpetuators. God revealed the event which had led to our disconnectedness. I ceased having His heart, and moved into my self-centered, self-righteous stance. My anger, though justified, took a wrong turn when I became judge and jury, pronouncing my sentence of condemnation, maligning their character. One simple, innocent event had led to my being disconnected from God. He wasn’t condemning me, but correcting me. He wanted me to see that His child, His son, wasn’t reflecting the Son. I was being a poor representative of my Father’s Business. When He felt distant it wasn’t He that had moved away. Oh no. I’m the one that walked away from His Side. From His Side the blood and water poured out (John 19:34) for the accused and the accusers. I had walked away from resting my thinking on His heart. I had eaten the forbidden fruit of “doing this or that” to be God. My misstep had led me into the darkness of replacing my Savior with one of my own making – myself.

What do you do when you try to hear from God and hear nothing but your own thoughts bouncing around in your head? Go back to the place you last heard from Him, asking what happened. If that doesn’t seem to loosen the hold the situation has on you, imagine Jesus’ limp body on the cross, blood and water flowing down from His nail-pierced side, and you standing in the middle of it all. Bloodied and stained from your proximity, look up into His wonderful Face, and ask Him to reveal the condition or action that has led to this distance. Look up, wait, and listen. Ask Him to bring you to the place where you can rest your thinking on His Heart, and His love for you. Confess the offense, repent of it – changing your thinking, falling back into His embrace. Let the blood from His side cleanse away the obstacles that block your capacity to hear. Let His Blood get into your “hearing.”